


See Yourself Through My Eyes

by JustAnotherUnderstudy



Series: This Should Totally Be A Thing [21]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boss/Employee Relationship, Christmas, F/M, Inspired by Fanfiction, Older Woman/Younger Man, Rare Fandoms, Rare Pairings, alternate POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-19 20:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13132002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherUnderstudy/pseuds/JustAnotherUnderstudy
Summary: After Skyfall James can sense the change between himself and M. They both want more and could have it, if James can convince her he's changed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tayryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tayryn/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Christmas to Remember](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832728) by [tayryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tayryn/pseuds/tayryn). 



> I love tayryn's story "Christmas to Remember." It's so painfully angsty that I read it when I want to suffer. (Side note: I have had six major abdominal surgeries in my life so when I read an angsty story, I literally feel physical pain. They should do a study on me, or something. lol)
> 
> Anyway, I sometimes think of it through James' POV and then I started writing down James' POV...several months ago. I hope I do the story justice. You might want to read it first? It might make more sense if you do. I put all tayryn's story in italics here. I didn't use all the parts, just the ones I felt relevant to tell James' side of the story. I will post the chapters throughout today and the 26th.
> 
> Happy Christmas, and all that what-not. :)

James stared out the resort window at the falling snow. It was Christmas Eve and all around him people were as festive as the decorations. While he wasn’t exactly melancholy this year, a feeling of unease kept him from the joy he should feel. He should be happy, he told himself. M was alive. That alone should be enough after everything that had happened at Skyfall. 

He shook his head and turned his gaze back to the roaring fire in the large hearth of the common room. He’d only come here to get away. He’d made the reservations months ago and hadn’t expected to be this injured. Usually if he was injured he just stayed home. This year he had to get away. He needed a break from London and his flat and from finding excuses to go into the office just for the chance to get a glimpse of her.

So, he ran away. How mature, he thought. Just like when he hid from her after getting shot in Turkey. That was such a waste of time. No matter how many times he told himself that it was different then, that he didn’t have the same feelings for M as he did now, he still berated himself for it.

He finally decided to go back to his room and try, again, to read. He’d tried earlier but he couldn’t keep his mind on it. It kept drifting to M and to examining all their recent interactions. James was no fool. He did this for a living. He knew she had deeper feelings for him than she used to. Something changed that day Silva escaped MI6 and went after her.

James quickly shoved those thoughts aside. It still scared the hell out of him to recall the feeling of horror when he realized Silva was going after her. He’d never been so terrified in his life. He’d run so fast he thought his lungs would burst.

Taking a deep breath to pull himself back into the present, James walked toward the elevators. He pushed the call button and waited. Strangely, he started to feel better, his lips quirked up and he looked to find whatever his mind had noticed that caused the change in feeling.

Her voice.

No, it couldn’t be. Why would she be here?

He listened again. The elevator dinged and opened but he turned and walked toward the lobby.

There at the front desk was a diminutive woman with a white pixie cut. Even with her bulky winter coat covering her curves James knew it was her.

Now he took a deep breath for another reason. He wanted to run to her and take her in his arms, but that wouldn’t do. So, he calmly walked over the counter.

_“M?”_

He watched as her head snapped up. She took a deep breath and turned to him.

_“Bond.”_

_“What are you doing here?”_

_“I **was**  planning to spend the holiday here, but unfortunately, that does not look like it’s going to be happening,” she replied._

_“What? Why not?”_

_“Apparently, they have no rooms available due to renovations, and all the hotels in the area are full up as well.”_

_“You didn’t have a reservation?”_

She shook her head as her face flushed with embarrassment. James tamped down the immediate arousal it caused.

_“Tanner assured me I would not need to make one. That no one would be here over Christmas.”_

_Bond raised an eyebrow. “Remind me to shoot him for you when we’re back in London.”_

Or maybe I’ll buy him a pint or two, thank him for giving me an opportunity to take advantage of.

_“You’ll be too late,” she said._

_“You’re not thinking of driving back now, are you?”_

_“What other choice have I got?”_

_“M, you can’t do that.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Because it’s snowing-”_

_“It’s been snowing all afternoon, 007.” She cut in._

_Bond rolled his eyes at her. “Exactly. It’s been snowing all afternoon, and it’s piling up. They’re also predicting that we’re going to get at least two to three feet of snow overnight,” James told her._

_“I’ll have to chance it,” M replied, a deep scowl on her face. “I have no place to stay.”_

And, that’s my cue.

_“You can stay with me.”_

_“What?”_

_“You can stay with me,” James repeated. “There is no way I am letting you drive in this weather,” he told her, and before she could respond, James turned to the desk clerk. “I’d like another key card for room B23, please.”_

_“Sir?”_

_“Another key card, please,” James told him, then gestured to M. “She’s going to stay with me.”_

_“You do realize, sir, you are booked for a single occupancy?”_

_“Fine, change it,” Bond said. “And, give me another key card.”_

_“Very well, sir.”_

_Ten minutes later, James grabbed her bag, and offered her his arm. “Ma’am,” he said in his most chivalrous voice._

_Olivia shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips, and slipped her hand into the crook of his arm. “Lead on.”_

James guided her to the elevator trying his best to ignore that her smile had caused his stomach to flip and the feel of her hand on his arm had awakened a million butterflies internally. This wasn’t the first time she’d touched him. It was becoming a more common thing since Skyfall. That was the first place he’d ever touched her besides a formal handshake or two. It had almost been the last.

But it hadn’t, he reminded himself. And now she let him touch her occasionally. He tried not to take advantage, but he probably did it more often than he should, and she let him. That was significant. James wasn’t blind. He knew her feelings for him had changed as much as his for her. But she never seemed to take them seriously. He’d asked her out a few times, tried to make it sound like it was “just lunch” but she’d always said ‘no.’ It was the reason for his unease. He couldn’t figure out how to convince her he was sincere.

**_~*007*~_ **

_“This is not going to work.”_

She’d been smiling up at him as he’d opened the door but when she looked inside the room the smile had disappeared and James was glad for years of practice at not showing his disappointment.

_“Of course, it is,” Bond replied, as he placed his hand on her back, and gently urged her further into the room._

He felt her stiffen at his touch and he tried not to take it personally. What was she supposed to think? He was a womanizing philanderer. At least he had been once upon a time, and despite the way her feelings had changed, her view of him apparently hadn’t.

_She shook her head as she looked around the room._

_She turned to look at him as he closed the door. “There’s only one bed, Bond.”_

_“There’s also a sofa,” he told her, carrying her bag over to the bed. “I’ll sleep on that, you can have the bed.”_

_“That will do your ribs a whole lot of good, I’m sure.”_

_“They’re just bruised, M,” he said. “I’ve slept in worst places, with more severe injuries.”_

_She shook her head. “I’ll take the sofa. It’s your room after all.”_

_“And you’re my guest,” James told her, then held his hand up to stop her. “M, let’s not argue. Please. Just take the bed.”_

_She sighed. “All right.”_

_“Thank you. Now, there’s space in the drawer there,” he said, pointing to the dresser. “Unpack your bag. I am going to assume that you’ve not had anything to eat since you left London.”_

_She nodded._

_“Well, after you’ve unpacked, if you have no objections, will you allow me to escort you to the dining room for dinner?”_

_“Thank you. I would like that,” she replied, then watched as a large smile blossomed across his face._

_“Great! Then I’ll just…” he gestured to the bathroom._

_Olivia smiled, and nodded. “James…” she called to him, catching him just before he closed the door. He looked at her expectantly. “Thank you.”_

_His smile returned. “You’re welcome, M.”_


	2. Chapter 2

 

James leaned against the bathroom door after he shut it. He took two deep breaths then turned to the sink and stared himself down in the mirror. He knew he had to keep it together. The mere thought of M in that bed was doing things to him. Her sleeping where just this morning he had awoke in a sweat, hard as a rock with need for her.

Now he was taking her to dinner. He’d been asking for months and now he had his opportunity. He’d known she wouldn’t turn him down now. He had to find a way to take advantage of these few days. He had to show her how much he wanted her, how much he loved her. He understood why his feelings for her were hard for her to believe. But she hadn’t seen him in his private life. She didn’t know that he couldn’t even look at another woman anymore.

Here at the hotel he had a chance. They were away from the office, away from the city, away from all the distractions. He hoped to hell Bill at least handled everything that came up. James was sure if he only had a few days alone with her he could convince her his feelings were real, and that she could trust him with her heart.

Yeah, a few days. It would be easy. He smiled at himself in the mirror and nodded. They’d have a nice dinner, some good wine, and some wonderful conversation about mundane things like the snow and Christmas and he’d show her, he really would.

`````

James stared hard at his empty wine glass as M walked past him to return to their room after dinner. Her command to find some nice young woman to play with hurt in ways he didn’t know he could feel anymore. He took a breath and tried to pull himself together.

They’d been having such a wonderful time. Their conversation was light and she was beginning to look more relaxed. She’d laughed at his stupid jokes. Her eyes sparkled in the light. He’d begun to lose himself in the moment. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d done that.

They had shared a desert and James was about to suggest they go and sit in front of the fire for a while when she said she was going to go back to the room to read for a bit.  He stood to join her, but she refused. And after the inferences she’d made about the waitress, James knew why.

James tried to reason with himself. He tried to regain his balance, but she’d thrown him completely off. He just needed a minute, or maybe ten.

“Everything OK?”

James looked up to see the waitress.

“Yes, it’s fine.”

“I see you’re all alone.”

“Yeah, she, uh, went back up to the room to read.”

“Oh, well, I’m off in about 30 minutes. We could do something.”

James stared at her as if she was speaking another language. She was pretty enough, he supposed, and he couldn’t lie that there wasn’t a time he’d take her up on the offer, but since Skyfall all women seemed so plain to him. There was nothing even remotely interesting in this one.

“Thank you, but I’ll probably be heading up in a few minutes myself.”

She seemed disappointed, but James could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn’t going to give up. He was here for several days and she’d probably try again, whether he wanted her to or not.

He left the restaurant and headed outside into the freezing weather. He had a heavy jumper on so it would take a few minutes for the cold to seep in. He was used to harsh elements. He had to be for the job. He had to be a lot of things for the job. He was beginning to hate it.

How many times had she been listening when he had to seduce information from a woman? He used all his charms on them. She must have thought he enjoyed it. And he supposed that occasionally he did. But for the most part it was a job and that was all. Near the end, as he called the events leading up to Skyfall, sex was mostly mechanical, something he did because he could, not because he wanted to.

But she didn’t know any of that. All of that was in his head. She wasn’t aware that he honestly could no longer get aroused without thinking of her first. He performed better when it was her voice in his ear. There was something about the tenor that did something to him. She’d become more relaxed of late, especially when it was just her, and maybe only Tanner. She would joke and laugh at his jokes. And when he reached for the woman later, it was M he saw.

He shook himself out of his reverie. He needed to get back inside. He didn’t want to explain to M why he was freezing when he returned to the room.

He went back into the common room and stood in front of the fire to warm himself and to work out his very weak plan. He’d go upstairs and read with her. Then they’d go to bed. He’d sleep on the sofa and in the morning, they’d have breakfast together. He didn’t look at the other women who were trying to flirt so she would see tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow it would be more obvious to her.

With that he returned to the room. He ignored her surprised look and quietly sat at the other end of the sofa and took up his book and read silently. When they finally got into their beds an hour later James thought this had been the most pleasant evening he’d had in a long time.

She argued with him about the sofa, he knew she would. But he’d won, as he so rarely did with her. Now he lay in the dark and listened as her breaths evened out.

Was this what it was like? Was this what being with a woman you loved felt like? Sleeping in the same room, even if not the same bed, felt so right. Listening to her steady breathing soothed him.

He joked with himself that he was on the sofa just as if they’d had a spat. God, what he wouldn’t do to have a spat with her if they were lovers. He would spend days making it up to her. He’d show her again and again how much he loved her.

James fell asleep with a soft smile on his face.

He woke to a falling sensation. His arms went out automatically to protect himself, but it was too late. He landed mostly on his chest. Shit, it hurt.

_“James?”_

_“I fell off the sofa,” he said. “And don’t you dare laugh!”_

_“I would never,” she told him, a smile in her voice, as she turned on the light. She saw him sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, his arms wrapped around his middle. Olivia frowned, concern washing over her, and tossed the blankets aside, then slipped out of the bed._

_She hurried across the room, and crouched down beside him. “Are you all right?”_

_James nodded. “Just got the wind knocked out of me, that’s all.”_

_Olivia regarded him for several moments, then stood. “Grab your pillow and the blanket, and get in the bed.”_

_James scrambled awkwardly to his feet. “I am not letting you sleep on the sofa.”_

_“Very gallant of you,” she replied, and grabbed the pillow, “but I have no intention of sleeping on the sofa.”_

_“M…” James shook his head._

_“Bond, we’re both adults, and it’s a big bed,” she told him._

_“But --”_

_“No buts. I refuse to spend the night listening to you fall off the sofa,” M said. “Get in the damn bed, 007. It’s late, and I’m tired.”_

_“Yes, ma’am,” James responded, grabbing the pillow and blanket he’d been using off the sofa, then followed her to the bed._

_Olivia got back in the bed, slipping beneath the covers, and watched as Bond climbed in on the other side. “Okay?” she asked._

_He turned his head on the pillow to look at her, and nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”_

_She turned off the light, then curled up on her side, pulling the blankets up to her chin. “Good night, James,” she said softly over her shoulder._

_“Good night, M,” James replied quietly._

James stared at M’s silhouette on the bed. This was such a bad idea. What if…no, he’d just sleep, show her how much of a gentleman he could be. Shortly he noticed her breathing had evened out. She trusted him enough for this, he would use it as another opportunity to prove himself, and his love. He concentrated on her breaths and felt himself drift back to sleep.

He dreamed, as he too often did, of lying in her arms, kissing her, touching her. In this dream he was spooning up against her after making love to her, only he was already aroused again. He breathed in her scent and slid his hand up under her top. Had she still been wearing a top? Never mind, she felt so good. God, it was almost like the real thing. His hand reached her breast and he felt the weight of it in his palm before he squeezed gently and pressed himself up against her back.

Her moan woke him and in horror he realized what he’d done. Her eyes were still shut and he hoped she was still sleeping and hadn’t noticed. Carefully he pulled away from her and eased himself off the bed before escaping to the bathroom.

The shock of waking with his hands on her had immediately cooled his desire. He stared into the mirror and silently berated himself. If she had been awake, this would not end well. He had no permission to touch her. How was he going to do this tonight?

He shook his head. One moment at a time. First, he needed to see if she had noticed. She was sure to tell him when he returned so that’s what he did. He opened the door and put a smile on his face.

_“Good morning, M,” James said, with a smile, as he walked into the bedroom. “Merry Christmas!”_

_“Merry Christmas, James,” she replied softly._

_“I thought I’d let you take your shower first,” he told her._

_“Thank you.” She smiled and stood, then crossed the room. “I appreciate it.”_

_“Consider it my Christmas gift to you,” he quipped, his eyes twinkling at her._

_Olivia laughed, and patted his shoulder affectionately as she passed him._

_“M?” James called to her just as she entered the bathroom. She turned to look at him. “Would you like to have breakfast with me?”_

_Olivia hesitated for just a moment before nodding. “That would be lovely, 007, thank you,” she replied, then closed the door behind her._

She hadn’t noticed. She must have slept through the whole thing. James was so relieved he dropped to the sofa with a quiet groan.


	3. Chapter 3

This was not working. 

James took a deep breath before he sat back down at the table.

It had happened again, same as the previous night. She’d told him she was going to return to the room, and James had stood to join her but she’d refused.

_“But, M, I--” James protested, shaking his head._

_“Really, Bond, you do not need to entertain me. I’m a grown woman.”_

_“I know that.”_

_“So, go find something to amuse yourself. I’m sure any one of these young ladies,” she gestured around the dining room, “would be happy to show you a good time.” She pushed her chair back, and stood. “I’ll be fine. I would just like to enjoy my book in peace.”_

He hadn’t been able to hide how much her words hurt him, and he hated himself for it. He didn’t want to guilt her into a relationship, he was supposed to be wooing her, goddammit.

The only problem was, he couldn’t use the usual means. He couldn’t hope that she’d fall for his charms and his flirtations, and he didn’t want her to. He just wanted her to acknowledge her feelings for him. Damn, stubborn woman.

Pushing his hurt feelings aside, he considered his next move. Unfortunately, he was interrupted by that same, damned waitress. Did she ever _not_ work?

“Alone again?”

She smiled sweetly at him and James fought back the urge to roll his eyes, but then he realized she might actually be able to help him.

“Just for a moment,” he told her. “Say, what activities, other than skiing, are available?”

She began to rattle off a short list and when she said, “sleigh ride” his ears perked up.

“Sleigh ride?”

“Yes,” she replied, and nodded her head eagerly.

She gave him all the details and James thanked her as he stood and headed to the desk to make their reservations.

A sleigh ride, he thought, as he headed back to the room, that would be perfect. It would be cold, and he could use that to his advantage to get his arms around M. And they’d be alone, their attention on the scenery and not on the stupid, mundane women in the lodge. Maybe she’d finally notice then how much he cared for only her.

It took some work, but he’d convinced her to join him, and it had been even better than he imagined. M had drifted to sleep against his shoulder, but her head kept flopping over. He’d smiled at the chance to see her sleeping out in the sunlight, but felt she’d probably be uncomfortable when she woke. With no little trepidation, James carefully lifted her into his lap. She’d immediately snuggled into his warm embrace and he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

_“M…”_

_Olivia sighed, and snuggled deeper into the warmth surrounding her._

_“M… wake up.”_

James caressed her face and smiled as he called her name. She was so beautiful. He wanted to wake her like this every day for the rest of their lives. He just needed to stay focused, keep things positive, then she’d see he was serious.

Finally, she opened her eyes.

_“We’re back at the lodge,” he told her._

_“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you,” she said, then wrinkled her brow in confusion. “How did I…”_

_“Your head kept falling back, and you looked so uncomfortable, so I pulled you onto my lap to hopefully keep you from getting a crick in your neck. I also thought it’d be a little warmer for you.”_

_She nodded at his explanation. “Thank you,” she replied, then slowly slipped off his lap to sit beside him on the seat._

_James smiled at her, then climbed out of the sleigh, before offering her his hand. She placed hers in his, and allowed him to help her down from the sleigh. She was surprised when he then tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow, and began to walk her through the lodge’s barn, into the lodge itself._

_“I thought,” James began, as they made their way through the lodge toward their room, “we could freshen up, then head into the common room; have lunch, and then play cards or chess, or just sit by the fireplace and read our books.”_

_Olivia glanced up at him, arching an inquisitive eyebrow. “You’re sure you wouldn’t rather be chatting up one of the young ladies?”_

_“Quite sure,” he answered. “I like the idea of a nice, quiet Christmas. I think we both deserve that, don’t you?”_

_“Yes we do,” Olivia agreed._

_“So, does that mean…?”_

_She nodded slowly, and smiled. “That sounds like a lovely way to spend Christmas.”_

* * *

 

James’ focus was on the chess board and he wouldn’t allow his eyes to waver. It wasn’t easy because M couldn’t stop noticing the women who were trying to catch his attention. She played it off like she thought it was humorous, but James could see the brief flash of jealousy each time a woman approached him. For his part, he simply rebuffed them all. He was considering putting up a “do not disturb” sign so they’d leave him alone and he could concentrate on, at the very least, his game of chess.

(He vaguely wondered how intelligent any of these women could be if they didn’t even know better than to interrupt a game of chess.)

_"You just lost another admirer,” Olivia told him._

_“Huh? What?” James asked, looking up from the chessboard._

_“The young woman that was sitting on the sofa,” Olivia answered. “She was trying to get your attention.”_

_“What woman?”_

_Olivia shook her head._

_“Your move,” he told her._

Playing dumb to M wasn’t Bond’s strong suit, and she had to know that he was as aware of their surroundings as he ever was on assignment. That sort of practice never got put aside. Why couldn’t she just see that he was intentionally ignoring those women because she was the only woman who could hold his interest?

James could be a patient man, he needed to be for his work. But he was becoming steadily frustrated with all of her innuendos.

* * *

 

_“Come on, M.”_

_“Bond, this is silly.”_

_“It’s tradition, M,” James told her, and waved the bright red cracker at her. “You know you want to.”_

_Olivia chuckled, and shook her head, as she reached out to grab the free end of the Christmas cracker._

_“Ready?”_

_“Yes.”_

_The cracker separated with a small bang, and the trinkets inside fell to the table between them._

_“Who gets the hat?” James asked._

_“You do,” Olivia replied._

_James grabbed the hat from the table, then eagerly unfolded the green paper, and placed it on his head. He sat up straighter in his seat, and grinned at her. “How do I look?”_

_A delighted laugh escaped her. “Very handsome.”_

_James chuckled, then pointed to the second cracker. “Shall we see what colour yours is?”_

_Olivia shook her head, her body still shaking with amusement._

_“M…” he whined playfully._

_“Oh, all right,” she said, and picked up the cracker. James grabbed the other end with a large smile, then nodded at her when he was ready, and they gave it a good tug._

_James picked up the paper hat from the table, and unfolded it, then held it out to her with an arched eyebrow._

_Olivia gave him a fond, but exasperated look, and placed the hat on her head._

_“Lovely,” he said in a soft voice. “The blue matches your eyes.”_

_She rolled her eyes, even as a slight blush coloured her cheeks. Before she could say anything, the waitress arrived with their second course. She was, Olivia noted, the same waitress from the day before._

_“Can I get either of you anything else?”_

_Olivia shook her head._

_“No thank you, we’re fine,” James replied._

_“Very good. If you need anything --”_

_“I’ll give you a wave. Thank you, Rebecca,” James said, flashing her a broad smile._

_“You’re welcome, sir.”_

_“I think you just made her night,” she told him, as the waitress walked away._

_James gave her a confused look._

_“You remembered our waitress’ name, and you smiled at her.”_

_James gave her a long-suffering look. “You’re not going to start that again, are you?”_

_Olivia chuckled. “No.”_

_“Good,” James said. “Because, I’ve already told you. I am not interested in her.”_

_“I can’t see why not. She’s quite lovely, and it’s obvious that she’s interested in you.”_

_“M…” James shook his head._

_“In fact, quite a number of the women here have made it more than apparent that they’re quite willing to keep you company.”_

_“M…”_

_Olivia held up her hand. “Sorry. I’ll stop.”_

_“Thank you,” he said around a bite of his turkey, then gestured at her plate with his fork. “Eat your dinner, M, before it gets cold.”_

_“Yes, 007,” she replied, then took a bite of her potatoes, and gave him a smart salute with her fork._

_She smiled as James chuckled._

It was becoming difficult to keep his emotions in check. The more M tried to push him off on other women, the more he wanted to be done with this whole wooing idea and just grab her and kiss her senseless. 

James calmed his nerves as he went back to his dinner. He just had to find the right way to show her, a way that would leave her without a shadow of a doubt.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's still the 26th here, so I made it, as promised. :D
> 
> This chapter was tough to write and edit. Writing a love scene about a love scene is really more difficult than it sounds. lol
> 
> I have not included tayryn's epilogue, so you should go read that because it's awesome (I love it when Tanner ships it. hehe).

_“I hope you’ve saved room for dessert.”_

_Olivia and James looked up at the sound of Rebecca’s voice, to see her standing before them holding a tray with two large glasses of…_

_“Crannachan,” James grinned, and nodded. “I always have room for that.”_

_Rebecca smiled, as she placed the dishes down in front of each of them. “We all think it’s just so sweet that you’ve brought your mother here for Christmas,” she said. “We were hoping though, that she wouldn’t mind if we stole you away for a little while after dinner.”_

_“She’s -- ”_

_“No, I don’t mind at all,” Olivia said, before James could finish his sentence. She forced a smile, then turned and hurried out of the dining room._

**_~*007*~_ **

_“Did I say something wrong?” Rebecca asked._

_“She’s not my mother!” James dropped his napkin to the table as he stood quickly, very nearly tumbling the chair over, then rushed past the waitress._

_“M!”_

He hurried after her, everything becoming crystal clear in that instant. It wasn’t the damned women at all, it was her age. She was using their age difference as an excuse to keep him at arm’s length. How could he have been so blind? It wouldn’t matter to her how many women he refused in front of her, how monk-ish he lived outside the job, she had put her age up like a wall between them. 

_“M!”_

_Olivia ignored him, and continued walking as quickly as she could through the lobby._

_“M, wait!”_

_Olivia shook her head._

_“God dammit, Olivia, will you please stop!”_

That got her to stop and he was almost on her as she turned back toward him. James caught the glimpse of her anger at him using her name, especially in public. Before she could say anything, his hands were cupping her face and he leaned in to press his lips passionately against hers. 

He was breathless when he pulled away to speak with her.

_“If that doesn’t tell you, I don’t know what else will,” James told her, panting softly. “We both know I could have had any one of those women if I wanted, but I don’t want any of them. I want you. I have chosen to spend this time with you, because I enjoy your company, because you’re an intelligent woman who keeps me on my toes, and who also happens to be sexy as fuck.”_

_Olivia shook her head, not quite believing him._

_“Why is it so hard for you to believe me?”_

_“They’re right, James. I am old enough to be your mother.”_

_“So? So what if you are? What I feel for you, Olivia, is far from filial,” James said, then ducked his head to kiss her again._

_It was a slower, deeper kiss; full of emotion._

_“I love you, Olivia Mansfield,” James whispered against her lips, his thumbs lightly stroking the corners of her mouth._

_“James…” her voice was softer than a whisper._

_“And I know you love me too,” he said, and kissed her again. His hand dropped from her cheek to her waist, and he gently drew her closer, until her body was pressed firmly against his._

_Olivia’s fingers uncurled from his shirt; one hand slid up his chest to his shoulder, then on to curl around the back of his head, as her other hand slipped beneath his arm to clutch at his back. She pressed closer, and deepened the kiss._

_“I do love you,” Olivia murmured against his lips as it slowly tapered off._

_“I knew you did,” he muttered pressing a last kiss to her forehead before lifting his head to smile down at her._

_“You did, hmm?” she asked with a soft smile._

_“Yes,” James replied, smiling tenderly at her._

_Olivia gazed up at him. Her hand slipped down from the back of his head to cup his cheek. “Oh, James…”_

James made sure to hang the “do not disturb” sign on the door of the room as he closed it behind him. He turned toward M who now stood by the bed. She didn’t appear to be nervous at all, which was a relief to James because that would have made him hesitate again. And now that they had confessed their feelings for each other, the time to hesitate and wait was long past.

He held her gaze as he walked toward her.

_James reached up, and caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “My M… will you let me make love to you?”_

_“Yes…” Olivia nodded._

James smiled. He didn’t think he’d ever felt this happy in his life. He took her back into his arms and pressed his lips to hers.

They slowly undressed each other, and James felt every nerve in his body come alive as her fingers skimmed across his body. When they were down to just their underwear, James gazed in wonder at the size of her breasts. He caressed and squeezed them gently and teased her nipples with his thumbs through the smooth satin of her bra. His arousal grew as he listened to her audible response to his attentions.

_“I have wanted to get my hands on your breasts for so long,” James told her._

She chuckled. James reached around her to unhook the bra and reveal the rest of what he had only fantasized about before.

_"Oh fuck,” James groaned. “They’re magnificent, Olivia.”_

James felt himself on the edge as he pulled her against him to feel her breasts pressed against his chest. He kissed her hungrily. She tightened her arms around him and James knew he needed to get them into the bed before he ruined the moment by coming too soon.

He surprised her by scooping her up in his arms without warning and lifting her onto the bed. He kissed her and excused himself to the bath. He had noticed this morning when he’d gone to shave that he had condoms and lube in his travel case. If he’d believed in such things, he’d now have viewed it as a good sign as to how his night was going to end.

He returned to her quickly.

_She arched an eyebrow. “I thought you’d come here to read?”_

_James shrugged. “I was trained to be prepared for anything.”_

_Olivia laughed._

_He smiled at her. “To be honest, I forgot I had them with me, and only noticed them in my toiletry bag this morning when I grabbed my razor.”_

_“You won’t need these.” Olivia grabbed the condoms, and tossed them onto the bedside table. “Your last tests came back clean. But the lube, yes…” Her voice trailed off as she felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment._

_James reached out to cup her cheek. “No reason to be embarrassed, Olivia,” he said in a quiet voice. “I understand.”_

_She smiled at him, and nuzzled her cheek into his palm. “Lose those,” she pointed to his boxer briefs, licking her lips at the sight of his cock straining against the cotton, “and get into this bed, and make love to me.”_

It had only taken her a moment to recover from her unnecessary embarrassment, though James wouldn’t have been averse to convincing her how little that mattered to him.

Once he was naked he crawled into the bed with her. They kissed and caressed and nipped and tasted until James was nearly undone. He peeled M’s panties off her at her request then reached for the lube. He was pleased and pleasured when M confidently took the lube from him and prepared him.

When he took his turn to prepare her he reveled in the feel of her tightness. He moved his fingers inside her and imagined how good it would be once he was.

_“Oh god, M… you’re so tight,” he said softly, as he slowly thrust his lube-coated fingers in and out of her pussy. “I can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”_

_“Then don’t,” Olivia told him, her already husky voice lower than usual, as she tightened her grip on his cock. “Don’t wait.”_

_James eased his fingers out of her, and urged her to lie on her back, then settled his body on top of hers, supporting his weight on his elbows._

_Releasing her grip on his cock, Olivia drew her legs up, and grasped his face in her hands. “Make love to me, James,” she whispered with a smile._

He took it slowly. Not only had it probably been a while for her, it had been a while for him. And this was different. This wasn’t fucking some mark for information, or just because he was in the mood to do so. This was the woman he’d been in love with for probably longer than he even realized.

She felt so perfect around him, her words and her reactions to his movements and his touch made him want to prolong this moment. He concentrated on her, the feel of her under his fingers, the taste of her skin. But the friction against him as he thrust into her was creating so much heat he was barely hanging on.

_“Yes! Oh yes, James! Just like that. Yes!” Olivia encouraged him, lifting her hips into his every thrust. Her hands grasped the firm cheeks of his arse, her nails biting into his skin with each drive of his cock into her. When she felt the first tingles of her orgasm, Olivia wrapped her legs around him, and trailed her hands up his back to curl around his shoulders._

_“Harder, James!”_

_“Yes!” he growled, and pushed deeper, harder, his hips starting to move at a frantic pace. “Fuck, Olivia…”_

_Olivia’s hands fell to the bed, her fingers fisting in the bedding as her body arched under his, her legs tightening around him as she came with a soft cry of his name._

_James groaned, and as she continued to writhe, lost in the throes of her orgasm, he thrust hard one last time, pushing as deep inside her as he could, coming with a shout._

_“James…” she murmured his name over and over as he sank into her embrace, his hips still moving gently against hers._

He pressed his lips to her ear and breathed in their scent. He listened to her breathe and felt the beating of her heart against her chest. He kept up his friction inside her until he felt a small tremor shudder through her body. They lay together like that for some time.

When he felt he could move again, he looked at her and was rewarded with a satiated look he was sure mirrored his own.

_“You are amazing,” James told her, his voice thick with satisfaction._

_She chuckled, and lifted a hand to brush the damp hair from his forehead. “So are you,” she replied._

_“So, that’s what it’s like to truly make love,” he said, holding himself up on his elbows, his large hands framing her face, “and not simply fuck.”_

_Olivia slid her hand around to cup the back of his head, and drew his mouth to hers._

_“Yes,” she whispered against his lips, then kissed him deeply, pouring everything she felt for him into the exchange, moaning when after several moments, he took control of the kiss, and made it his to her, until it eventually tapered off into a series of breathy, feathery brushing of their lips._

_Olivia smiled up at him, then gave a squeal of surprise when he suddenly rolled onto his back, taking her with him. She stretched out over him, wriggling against his body until she was comfortable, laying her head on his chest, tucking her head under his chin._

_James groaned, his hands grasping her arse as he gently rocked up into her. While he was no longer hard, his cock was still buried inside her, and she was still sensitive enough for the action to send a small tremor of pleasure through her, making her moan._

_“This has been the best Christmas I’ve had since I was a kid,” James told her, nuzzling a kiss into her hair, and tightening his arms around her._

_“It’s been the best one in a long while for me too,” Olivia replied, pressing a kiss to his chest. “James…” she began, tracing the scar on his side, the one from Eve’s bullet, “you know we’ll have to keep this quiet.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“And it cannot change things between us at work. If you’re the right man for the job --”_

_“I know, Olivia,” James interrupted her, his fingers lightly stroking the raised skin on her left hip. “I know. I would not expect anything less.”_

_She smiled, and tilted her head back to kiss the underside of his chin. “I wish it could be different, and that we did not have to hide.”_

_“We could retire.”_

And, there, he said it. The words he never thought would come out of his mouth, yet the ones he’d been thinking since Skyfall. This was the opportunity he’d hoped for, to maybe convince her to swan off with him.

_“For the first time, that actually sounds appealing,” Olivia remarked, and felt James chuckle beneath her._

_“Mmm… yes… making love all day, every day.”_

_Olivia laughed. “You have a one track mind, James.”_

_“Where you are concerned, yes I do,” he agreed._

He held her in his arms and they discussed their potential retirement between touches and caresses and kisses. James really couldn’t remember ever being happier. Making love to Olivia had been more than he’d even imagined. Sex was one thing, but this, this was more than he could have thought possible.

He’d rarely engaged in “pillow talk” beyond what he needed to get from a mark. It just wasn’t his thing. But he wanted to talk to M. He wanted to hold her and discuss even the most seemingly mundane things, or not, like the fact that he’d somehow missed Bill’s new relationship with Mallory.

They slowly talked themselves out as their arousal grew. He made love to her again and, he hadn’t known it possible, it was better than even the first time. Olivia finally drifted to sleep spooned up against him. He watched her for several minutes, tracing lines and enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his. Finally, he leaned over and kissed her cheek before reaching behind him to turn off the light.

James pressed his lips against the back of M’s neck then murmured in her ear.

“Goodnight, Olivia. You are truly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I love you.”

James was only mildly surprised when he heard her mumble and “I love you, too,” in return.

He held her tighter then allowed her steady breathing to lull him into sleep.


End file.
